An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young woman for the night. Surprised, she looks
at the old man and asks how old he is.
"I'm 90 years old," he says.
"NINETY!" replies the woman. "My good man, don't you realize you've HAD it?"
"Oh...sorry," says the old man. "How much do I owe you?"
Larry had been retired for a few years, and was getting antsy for something to do. So he bought some paint and some brushes and
and a ladder and an old truck and went out looking for painting jobs. At the first house, he knocked at the door and
asked the man who answered if he had anything that needed painting. "Well yes", the man answered. "I've been meaning to
paint my porch for a long time now and just never got around to it. I'd like it painted green to match the house."
They agreed on a price, and Larry said he'd knock at the door when the job was done, letting the homeowner retreat back to his
Packer game on TV.
About two hours later, there was another knock at the door, and the homeowner answered. "All done", said Larry. "But you
know, I would have sworn that porch was a BMW!"
Our friend Bernard Pehl likes to tell about the 80-year old man who goes in for his physical. All of his tests come
back with normal results. The doctor says, "Chuck,
everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
Chuck replies, "God and I are tight, Doc. For example, He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when
I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, POOF! the light goes on. When I'm done, POOF! the
light goes off.
"WOW, That's incredible" the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Chuck's wife. "Jane", he says, "Chuck is doing fine! But I had to
call you as I am in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and POOF! the
light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done POOF! the light goes off?
"Oh NO!" says Jane. "Chuck's using the refrigerator again!"
This belly-breaker was sent to us by Gene Quigley...and says "don't mess with us Seniors!"
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors.
The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the
reception desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large
unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME
RIGHT HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to
look at the very embarrassed old gentelman. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,
"NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."
Rick Larson contributes this little tidbit, which provides answers to frequently asked questions about our retirees...
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after fall asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and
refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic
or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answers: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the
second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I
was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK. Coincidentally, I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't
find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
So the first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy
says, "Well, she's 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, a big bust, and she's wearing a red cut-off tank
top and white short shorts. Now, in case I happen to see YOUR wife, what does SHE look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter...let's just look for yours."
It was a cold winter day, when the old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the
ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite.
He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a
hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute
and WHAM! a Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.
The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just
a few minutes pulled in another one. This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more
since he hadn't caught a thing all this time.
He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You
have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."
"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying."
So the boy spit into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"
Larry Rupp says that he often sits and ponders things like these:
If I planted some bird seed and a bird came up, what would I feed it?
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
What if I went to San Francisco, and found someone's heart?
If the world was a logical place, wouldn't men be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Somebody told me once that I was gullible. Why did I believe them?
I thought I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If a man had both feet planted firmly on the ground, how would he get his pants off?
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:
"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine June day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
The little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and yell
"Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she screamed, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take
the soup."
Eighty year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand
can have sex with me tonight!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? "
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited
to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time ...but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight
was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and that light was also red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost positive that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it, and was getting more anxious by the minute.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just
ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "
Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and
pushed it wide open.
"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you've at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."
We are more valuable than any of the younger generations:
- We have silver in our hair.
- We have gold in our teeth.
- We have stones in our kidneys.
- We have lead in our feet and ....
- We are loaded with natural gas.
Something to think about to help ease the pain of your next trip to the gas station.pump...
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
- Diet Snapple is $10.32 per gallon
- Lipton Ice Tea is$9.52 per gallon
- Gatorade is $10.17 per gallon
- Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice is $10.00 per gallon
- Brake Fluid is $33.60 per gallon
- Vick's Nyquil is $178.13 per gallon
- Pepto Bismol is $123.20 per gallon
- Whiteout is $25.42 per gallon
- Scope mouthwas is $84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL kicker...
Evian WATER is $21.19 per gallon! (And remember, Evian spelled backwards is NAIVE.)
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid Pepto Bismal or Nyquil.
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job
is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as
sleek as a little MG; now they look more like my mother's old Buick.
My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging.
Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Ben & Jerry's opened a shop in my
neighborhood.
Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under
my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
I have lots of miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places
and seen many things, but when' s the last time an appraiser
factored life experiences against depreciation?
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close.
My reaction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and
skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. I'm burning fuel at an
inefficient rate.
But the worst of it is - almost every time I sneeze or cough,
my radiator seems to leak.
As we age, our priorities change...
The other day I came home and was surprised by my wife of 47 years, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple
of short velvet ropes.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, I tied her up and went fishing.
Retiree Scott Page tells us that his grandson Noah recently had his fifth birthday. He was so excited that he began to count off each year
with his fingers. After he counted to five he looked at his hand and squealed: 'Look — I’m a handful!’”
Millie Molitor tells us about the THREE GUYS who were out in a boat fishing when one of them hooked a mermaid. The mermaid pleaded
for her freedom and promised to grant each of the fishermen a wish if they'd let her go. "It's a deal," said the first fisherman. "Double my intelligence." Immediately,
he began to recite Shakespeare's Macbeth and other classics of literature.
"Wow! That's cool," exclaimed the second fisherman. "I'd like my intelligence tripled." He'd no sooner made the request than he started spouting Einstein's
equations on the theory of relativity.
"That's awesome!" shouted the third fisherman. "I'd like my intelligence quintupled." The mermaid scowled. "Are you sure?" she asked. "You may not like
the outcome."
"Yes, I'm sure," replied the fisherman. "Please quintuple my intelligence." He closed his eyes to wait for the wish to be granted -- and poof -- he became a woman!
Harold, age 81, and Grace, age 80, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the
way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Harold addresses the man behind the counter. "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Harold: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Harold: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Harold: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Harold: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Harold: Medicine for memory problem, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: Yes, a large variety - the works."
Harold: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for poisons, Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely!"
Harold: You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Harold says to the pharmacist: "Excellent. We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry!"
Myron Knapp tells us about a couple in their nineties, both having problems
remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The
doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to
start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen" he replies.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you
can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too.
You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of
ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down,
I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and
whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the
kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the
kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says -
"Where's my toast?
Here's one of your webmaster's favorites. An elderly couple are at a friend's house for dinner. The visiting spouse joins the hostess in the kitchen, leaving the host and
male visitor alone in the living room.
"Last Saturday night, I took Martha to this really fine restaurant," offers the host as an ice-breaker.
"Really. What was the name of it?", asked the visitor.
"I don't quite remember. Help me out. What's the name of that bright red flower that starts with an "R" and has thorns
on the stem?", asks the host.
"Do you mean "rose"?, says the visitor.
"Yeah....THAT'S it!", says the host, and then he yells to the kitchen, "Rose, what was the name of that restuarant we ate at last Saturday night?"
One of Beverly Olson's favorites...An 80 year old man was shuffling down the sidewalk when he heard a voice say, "If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful woman."
The old man turned around and looked everywhere, but saw no one. He continued to shuffle down the sidewalk when he hears the voice say,
"If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful woman." The old gent turns around again and looks everywhere and finally discovers a frog on the sidewalk directly behind him.
He bends down and picks the frog up. Then he shoves the frog down into his shirt pocket.
Once again he starts to shuffle down the sidewalk. The frog wiggles and wiggles until working its way up to the top of the pocket. And again it ways, "If you kiss
me I'll turn into a beautiful woman." The old man pushes the frog back down in his pocket and says, "At this age I'd rather have a talking frog."
Garry Davis tells us about An alternative retirement home - There will be no nursing home in my
future........When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess
Cruise Ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on
reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast
in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask
for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.
If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you
to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to
go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a
nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just put you in the freezer until
the ship gets back home at no charge).
Stanley "Red" Manning likes the story about the retired guy and his wife hurrying into a dentist's office. Out of breath, the man says to the
dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a big hurry! I have two buddies
sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the
anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it-- I don't have time
to wait for the anesthetic to work!
The dentist is impressed and amazed that this courageous old guy wants his tooth pulled with absolutely no anasthetic. "Which tooth is it, sir?"
So the guy turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show the
doctor which tooth hurts."
Martha recently picked a new primary-care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doc said she was doing "fairly well" for her age.
"Do you think I'll live to be 80?", asked Martha.
"Well,do you smoke tobacco or drink beer, wine or other alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," she replied.
"Do you climb ladders to put up Christmas lights? Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
"No", explained Martha, "my other doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," Martha said.
Then the doc asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said, "I don't do any of those things."
The doc looked at her quizzically and said, "Then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?!"
A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road,
flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying he wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he
thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror
and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him with no problem," thought the old man as he tromped it some more and flew down the road
at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph.
Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing. So he pulled over to the side of the road
and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man.
"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason
why you were speeding that I have never heard before, I'll let you go."
The elderly gentleman looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper, and I
thought you were bringing her back!"
The trooper replied, 'Sir, have a nice day.
Dave Dunn tells about the elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables,
horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided
to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond,
he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware
of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked
or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and
washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he
would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we
found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her posterior was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please
advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a Drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay,
doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about
women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence. After what seemed like an hour, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
"Well," said the old cowhand, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a LESBIAN!"
Scott Page tells us "The other day my brother stopped his car on the side of the road to let his children look at a herd of grazing goats that were brought
in to weed the hill. His 3-year-old grandson, Preston, watched the goats with amazement, then took my brother's hand and asked, "Grandpa, is this the Holy Goats?"
Sometimes a Boston accent can have an unexpected impact. After having been rescued from a capsize off the coast of Massachusetts, one of the passengers, a four year old
boy, told his mother that he was going to thank God in his prayers for rescuing him that day. His mother said, "Well, son, God was certainly smiling down on you today, but
you should also include in your prayers those nice young men who pulled you out of the water." And the boy said, "That's who I meant, Mom....the COAST God!."
Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
One late afternoon, four retired guys are walking down a street in Madison. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timer's Bar - ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!"
They look at each other, and then go in. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you. What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the
bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please."
They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the
men couldn't stand it any longer ! and asks the bartender, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"Well," said the bar owner, "I'm a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs a dime - wine, liquor, beer, all the same."
"Wow!! That's quite a story," says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other old guys at the end of the bar who didn't
have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks
the bartender, "What's with those ol' geezers?"
The bartender says, "They're from Florida. They're waiting for happy hour."
