SING TO THE TUNE "THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS"

PURPORTEDLY SUNG BY JULIE ANDREWS AT AN AARP CONVENTION
(BUT PROBABLY NOT TRUE)

        Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and a new dental fitting,
        Bundles of magazines tied in string,
        These are a few of my favorite things.

        Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
        Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
        Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
        These are a few of my favorite things.

        Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
        No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
        Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
        These are a few of my favorite things.

        When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
        When the knees go bad,
        I simply remember my favorite things,
        And then I don't feel so sad.

        (REST YOUR VOICE FOR 29 MEASURES...JAZZ PIANO SOLO)

        Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
        Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
        And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
        When we remember our favorite things.

        When the joints ache, when the hips break,
        When the eyes grow dim,
        Then I remember the great life I've had,
        And then I don't feel so bad.

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